While wandering the wooded alleys of the Oregon Country Fair on the afternoon of July 11 2009, I came across a young lady with a typewriter. Her typewriter had, printed upon it, "POEM STORE your subject & price". I approached her and said, I'd like three dollars worth of squirrel in the attic". She said okay, sat down with a grim expression, and began to type. Ninety seconds later, she pulled this parchment from the typewriter and handed it to me, and I gave her three dollars and I put the poem in my pocket and walked away. I later found it in my pocket and posted it below, here on my squirrel-in-the-attic website:
Jacqueline Suskin, in her career as the Poem Store proprietor, purveyor of poems.
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You can email Jacki at the above address, and she might write a poem for you, if you send her money. But don't ask her for advice about squirrels in the attic, that's not within her circle of competence. You'd be better off calling a real wildlife professional off of the wildlife removal directory instead of a writer of poems.