Wildlife Education - Information, Advice, and Techniques for the Safe Removal of Squirrels from Attics

The Tale of Mrs. Pye and the Squirrel

I wrote this poem about a job I did for a woman named Mrs. Pye, and mailed it to her.

Mrs. Pye walked by her fireplace
When confusion crossed her entire face
For from within there was a din
It sounded like scratching upon tin
"Oh my!" said Pye, "what could that be?
That's racket to the first degree!"
She heard a thump! And then a clump!
And then a lot of clawing
There was a jump! And then a bump!
Some shuffling and pawing
That's more than a mouse invading my house
It's more than a rat or even a cat!
It's large and loud, it barged in unallowed
And it's wrecking my day, and it must go away

Why oh why, said Mrs. Pye with a sigh
Did this silly critter decide to stop by?

Capture of the animal was her goal
So she called out David of AAAnimal Control
I'll get it! said he, "have not a fear!
I get animals from chimneys every day of the year"
So he closed up the screen and opened the damper
When out dropped a squirrel, which started to scamper
No problem, said Dave, this is a snap
We'll easily catch it using this trap
But the squirrel did not enter
'Twas nowhere to be seen
Yet noise persisted from the center
Though the flu looked quite clean
This vexed David so, that he addled his brain
Till he though up the only thing he could explain
"It went up the flu and back down the side
It's stuck worse than glue, and can't get outside
Just wait a few days and it will climb up this rope
I'm sure it will work, just keep up some hope"
But it did not work. For in three day's time
Out poured an odor most unsublime

Why oh why, said Mrs. Pye with a sigh
Did this silly critter decide to die?

So she called David back, and he felt quite low
He set up a fan, the odor to blow
But when up on the roof, he got quite a whiff
So went back to the fireplace and started to sniff
"I'm beginning to think, and I feel quite strong
That the sneaky squirrel has been here all along"
So he unscrewed the side panel when low and behold
The odor increased by at least tenfold
For there in the crevice he thought too small to check
Was their old pal the squirrel (in quite a wreck)
So he got a baggy and took it away
Now it rests in squirrel heaven to this very day

My oh my, said Mrs. Pye with a sigh
I'm relieved to bid that critter goodbye



You can also read a fine squirrel poem by Jacqueline Suskin by clicking the link.
Please be kind to squirrels! They are intelligent animals, and believe it or not, they definitely have emotions!
If you have any questions about squirrels in attics, just email me at david@squirrel-attic.com